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The Job

          After Rob's phone call, three nights ago, I called Omar. I know I did it because I was angry over Rob hurting me, but I couldn’t help doubting that maybe I do still have feelings for him. That’s why I am standing here in a black cocktail dress and killer heels at our favorite bar and restaurant in Long Beach; The Queen Mary. The ship is famous for the many voyages she made and also because for many years, it has been said to be haunted. The TV show "Ghost Hunters” even did an episode on it a few years ago. In all the times we have been here, I have had no experiences but Omar and I use to love going here every other month, rent a room and wine & dine. The bar is called "The Observation Bar" it is very small but very beautiful. The bar is long and curved around the side of the room. There were a few chairs and tables at the opposite end of the bar, which made the place, look speechless. The walls look as they did when the ship was first built with white trim and wood finished walls. I always thought it looked fancy but Omar thought it looked old fashion. I was sitting at the bar waiting for him as usual. He was always late. I arrived later than I normally would have and yet I was still earlier than him. I ordered an apple Martini and sat at the bar. I had been waiting twenty minutes, and I started to get a little angry and embarrassed. I started to drum my fingers as the bartender came up to me and asked "Anything else I can get you?" I shook my head no and he walked away. I sipped my Martini slowly as a gentleman sat next to me. I didn't look his way, I sat there pouting, trying to decide if I should give up and leave. My ears began to heat up as I began to think how I was getting burned by two guys in one week. It had to be some kind of record. "Hello, May I buy you a drink" the gentleman said next to me. I looked at him with disapproving eyes and said "No, thank you" as politely as I could. "Come on, let me buy you one drink, you don’t even have to speak to me. I just want to buy the most beautiful women on the ship a drink." he said with a goofy grin. From my guess he was already drunk, and it was only 7:00 pm. "No, thank you sir" I said in a stern voice. "Bitch..." he said, and then walked away. I grabbed my glass and pretended I was going to throw it at him, but it wasn’t him I was angry with anyway. I was angry with Omar for being more than a half hour late. "Did he forget?" I thought. I looked over at the door and saw no one in sight. I waved the bartender down, and he came at once. "Can I help you?" he said. "Close my tab please" I said while handing him my credit card. Just when he was about to grab it from my hand I head Omar say "Why you leaving so soon beautiful?" I turned my head to the left and saw him standing there wearing a black silk shirt, and black slacks. In his hand a long was a long stem rose and a small gift bag. I smiled up at him, feeling relived he made it, and also happy to see him which shocked me in many ways. "Keep the tab open and it will be on my card" Omar said to the bartender. The bartender nodded and asked "Is there anything I can get you?" "Another of what she had and I will take a Jack straight up" Omar responded. As the bartender started to make our drinks Omar sat on the right side of me. He leaned over and tried to kiss me but I turned my head and his kiss ended up on my cheek. He smiled but I could tell in his eyes he was disappointed. He handed me the rose, I accepted with a smile. "Thank you" I said. "I am sorry I am late. I should have called but I just tried to get here fast. I got off work late." he said. "It’s ok I forgive you" I said. I couldn’t believe how happy I was feeling. "I'm glad you do” he said, smiling in response. I placed the rose on the bar just as the bartender placed our drinks on napkins and walked away. I picked up my glass as Omar held his up for a toast.  "This is to a new start Marissa, you & me" I gave a small smile. I wasn’t sure if that’s what I wanted. When I agreed to dinner and drinks I just thought we could just have a nice time together as old friends. His intentions were defiantly different than mine. I was going to have to do something about this. Make it clear to him that I only want to be friends and go out every now and then. I raised my glass and said "Here is to a new beginning."

             After a little small talk of "how is work?" "What new in life?" we decided to walk over to Sir Winston's Restaurant where we already had reservations but we were a little early. It’s a cozy little place with great food, the walls were a darker shade of wood, and the squared tables were covered in white Linen. As we walked in, Omar was still holding the gift bag. I knew what it could hold, but I had to try to not think about it. "Omar for two" Omar said to the maître de. He looked at a list and said "Omar for two, you’re a little early but we seat you now if you would like. Omar nodded once and we followed him to our table. We were seated next to a window that over looked the ocean. The drapes were open and the sun was setting. The sky was orange with a few puffy white clouds. Omar pulled my chair out for me, something he has never done for me. I smiled and sat down as he set the gift bag on the floor and took his seat. The maître de handed us our menus and said "your server, Monica, will be here shortly, please enjoy your meal." We thanked him as he left us alone. I looked around the restaurant and noticed there weren’t very many people here; it was a little early for the dinner rush, which made it a nice quiet place to talk. "It’s been so long since I…. since we have been here together" I said. "Yes it has, I have missed this. I am surprised we haven’t seen the usual people. I guess its bee that long" he responded. Omar then leaned in and said "You look amazing, did I tell you that?" I blushed and smiled wide "Thank you” “I am glad you called me. I didn’t think you would" he said while looking at his hands as he placed them on the table. I started thinking of when I called him. It was two nights ago after Rob called and canceled our plans. My heart started to race at the thought of how he lied and used me. I looked up at Omar and saw him reading my face. I cleared my voice and said. "Well I was rude to you, and I guess I should tell you what’s going on." He kept his eyes on me and I watched his hands on the table folded. "I am sorry Omar for how I treated you that day. I wasn’t myself. I have been going through something but now that’s all over" I explained. He looked right into my eyes and said "I am going to ask you again and I hope you will answer me… Were you seeing someone else?" I looked at him, debating on how I was going to tell him that I have but that he is famous, and that he used me. I opened my mouth as our server approached us "Hi my name is Monica, I will be your server for this evening. My I get you something to drink first?" She turned to look at Omar and I saw her eyes turn soft. I had to admit Omar was sexy, but it never occurred to me that I could be jealous if any girl flirted with him. It happened so much that until I met Rob, I never cared to notice. I already knew I was going to have a problem with her; I could tell she was going to be one of the overly attentive types. He looked up at her and without a smile he pointed at me. She turned to me with a straight face and said "What can I get you?" I gave her a hard look and responded "Sweet tea and water please." She scribbled on her small pad and looked back at Omar and smiled wide. "And you?" she said. He looked up at her and smiled "Same" She didn’t seem too happy about that. She nodded once, turned and walked away. "She likes you" I said. He giggled and responded "I like you." I blushed but felt a bit awkward. "Omar, what is this all about?" I asked him. "I wanted to talk to you, but first I wanted to give you this." He said as he reached for the small white gift bag, handing it across the table to me. "Omar, what? Why are you giving me gifts?" "Just open it please" he said. I took the gold tissue out and placed it next to my napkin. I looked inside and saw two boxes. One box was slightly bigger than the other. I took the smaller box out and noticed it was a ring box "No open that last, open the bigger one first." I started to get worried and I know it showed on my face, because Omar started to laugh quietly. I took the larger grey box out and opened it. Inside was a beautiful pair of hoop earrings, silver, with very small diamonds around them. "Oh Omar, these are so beautiful…" I exclaimed. I looked at him wondering what was next. These were diamonds; I started to get very worried that the smaller box contained a ring that was also a diamond. I snapped the gray box shut and dropped both boxes in the bag and handed them back to Omar. "What are you doing?" he asked. "Omar, I can’t accept these, there is no way" I answered. Just then our server came back with our drinks. She looked at Omar with the same smile. He kept his eyes on me as she placed the drinks in front of us. "Are you ready to order or will you need more time?" Monica asked. "No we are ready" I said. I opened the menu and looked over fast and said "I will have Sir Winston’s Classic Caesar Salad and the Seared Pacific Halibut please." She scribbled fast then turned to Omar once again smiling wide and said "And you?" He was looking at the menu and said "We will start with Roast Oysters and Queenie and I will have the Porterhouse Steak, thank you" He closed the menu and handed it to her with a small smile. She snatched mine from my hands with an angry look and left us. "What do you mean you can’t accept them? First you haven’t opened the second gift and another I bought them for you" he continued. I sighed and responded "Because I can’t, taking these would imply that I want to get back together and I don’t want to…not right now, anyway. He starred at me and said "Marissa, if you didn’t want to take me back then why did you call me back and agree to go out with me?" I thought about that for a moment. I know I called him back because Rob hurt me, in a way I guess I did it hoping that he would somehow find out. "I wanted to make it up to you for hitting you, I guess. I never should have slapped you" I answered him. "No I am sorry, I thought if I kissed you, it would make you see that I do love you" he said. I sighed and asked him "Omar, do you remember when you asked me if I had moved on, and if I was seeing someone else?" He nodded and I continued "Well…I’m not sure if I moved on completely, because I know I still love you, but yes…I have been seeing someone else. Not very long, but that’s over." His eyes showed pain but I could see him trying to hide it as he kept his head down looking at his hands. "Who was he?" he asked. "You don’t know him; and it doesn’t matter, he’s gone and he won’t be coming back for me" I told him. We stared at each other for a long moment, and then he sighed and looked out the window. Monica, our server, came back with our appetizer and salads. Omar turned his head and smiled very wide at her showing his teeth. She lit up and slammed the salad plate in front of me. Omar winked at her as she giggled. I knew the reason he was doing this, its how he used to try to t make me jealous. I rolled my eyes and looked out the window. "Hi, how are you?" Omar asked her. "I’m fine, how are you?" Monica responded while giggling. "I am great, thanks for serving us" I placed my hand under my chin waiting for the show to end. Omar always tried to push my buttons. After the breakup he did everything he could to make me jealous, I knew his games all too well to get upset. I kept my eyes on the sky as darkness began to fall. "What’s your name" Monica whispered. "Omar and your Monica right?"  I was starting to get upset, but not by what Omar was doing, but more with myself for putting myself in this situation. I bent over grabbed my purse and got up. Without a word I left the table with Monica bending over and Omar leaning into her whispering. As I walked away I heard Monica say "Why is your sister leaving?" Omar corrected her by saying, “She is not my sister; she is my ex-girlfriend." I heard him get up to come after me. I walked briskly out the door and half ran to the nearest door I could find. I turned the knob and ran inside. It was the janitor’s closet; very small and dark. I waited there for what seemed like a few minutes and decided that it was safe to come out. I opened the door, and peeked my head out, looking both ways. I saw no one so I assumed it was safe and left, walking out to the parking lot; back to my car. Once I was outside, I saw Omar leaning against my car. "Where did you go? I was looking for you" he shouted.

       I walked straight to the driver’s side and placed the key in the lock just as two hands held my arms and spun me around. "Marissa, I’m sorry I acted like a jerk. I know, but please don’t leave" he said. I pushed him off me and he stepped back long enough for me to get inside the car slamming the door, locking it. He knocked on the window shouting, "Marissa, please don’t do this? You know I will come to your house." I placed the key into the ignition and started the car. I turned my head to face him; I gave him a hard look and then flipped him my middle finger. I put the car in drive and drove off. I once again watch him become smaller in my rear view mirror.  After leaving, I decided to find a drive thru grab a bite to eat. I needed to kill time and stay away from home, because I knew Omar was right. He would go to my apartment as soon as I had left. I decided to go to In & Out. It was nowhere near where I was or lived, but it was a thirty minute drive and the longer the better. I sat and ate my burger and fries alone in the dining area. I was still in my black dress and heels, so there was a lot of starring and boys trying to talk to me. I, of course, ignored them. I looked around the very familiar scenery. The walls were very white with red trim. The stools where red, the tables were white. Some were marked by teenagers writing whom they loved or belonged to. It looked like an old fifties style burger and malt joint. The food was always good, simple and cheap. After taking my time to eat I sat for an hour drinking unlimited amounts of soda. Once I used the restroom I decided it was time to go home. I drove slowly trying to give myself more time. I didn’t know how long Omar would wait. I remembered that I needed beer and a few other things. I stopped by a market a few blocks from where I lived. I took my time walking from aisle to aisle pretending to shop. I got milk, cookies, three different types of chips, soda, a case of water, bread, a gallon of Vanilla Ice Cream, two bottles of wine one red one white, and a 12 pack of beer. After thirty-five minutes of shopping, I checked out and loaded my purchases into the car. I drove to my apartment looking around to see if Omar was waiting somewhere near my home. I drove around the block twice and was convinced he wasn’t around. I parked in the alley, unloaded my groceries and began taking them up the stairs to my apartment. Before I opened my front door I took a look around one last time before going inside. Once all my groceries were put away I took a long hot shower. I thought about Omar wanting me back and Rob not wanting me as I thought he did. I felt the sobs coming on but I swallowed hard and tried to think about other things. I stood under the hot steamy water and as I ran the bar of soap over my body I thought of the first morning I had been with Rob. How nervous we both were, and the way he looked coming out of the shower. Wet, slippery and the sexiest man I had ever seen. I started to imagine us together in his hotel room after he took a shower, still dripping wet. His hair a dark gold color pushed back, the blue in his eyes sparkling at me. As Rob licked his lips, holding a white towel around his waist and his chest moist under my fingers, I ran the bar of soap over my breast. My nipples started to grow hard under my hands; I gave them a squeeze pretending they were Rob’s hands. I closed my eyes and pretended he was standing behind me squeezing my breast and sucking on my neck. I slid my hands up and down my body, imaging Rob wanted me like I wanted him. I felt lips, soft and stubbly kissing my neck, across my shoulders to my other ear. My hands where rubbing my thighs as a sigh of ecstasy escaped my mouth. My right hand softly rubbed my pussy; my left hand cupped my breast. I started to rub my clit thinking of Rob’s tongue licking and sucking it. I felt myself getting wet; I soaked my fingers in it and stuck one finger inside imagining it was Rob’s finger fucking me. As I started really getting carried away, my phone rang and I snapped out of my trance. Wondering who it could be, the first person that came to mind was Omar. The thought of him calling made the mood disappear. I rinsed off the soap and got out of the shower.

            I went to bed early that night. As I lay in bed I began to think about Omar. How I lead him on and I knew that tonight was entirely my fault. There was something I was going to have to do about this. Rob's face flashed through my head as I thought of all the reasons I used Omar the way I had. What was I going to say to him? I had no idea but telling him I was not over the three days I spent with the most desired man in the world was not an option. He would never believe me that Robert Pattinson was the man that he was replaced with. Rob was another one that I had to figure out. Do I let him use me that way, and move on? Or do I track him down and let him know what he did to me was rude and mean? I know I would never get to him but the thought of yelling at him put a small smile on my face. I rolled over to face the side he once laid on, and ran my hand over it. I felt my heart crush at the thought of him being next to me again. I clearly had some issues I needed to resolve and I knew that Omar was not a cure. I found my answer right there. I had to be alone for awhile. Rob and I may have only been together for three days but it was more than lust. We connected in a way I never had before and I knew he felt it too. I don't think a man could look at me they way he did if he felt nothing. The way he touched my body, like it was glass, so fragile. His kisses so urgent but soft and comforting, the tighter he held me only made things that much more real. I shared something with Rob and I knew time was the only thing I needed to get over him. I finally fell asleep as I accepted him being gone.


* * * *


          It’s been four days and I have not heard from Omar. I have not heard from Rob either since he called a week ago. Since then I have put all my energy into work. Michelle, my boss, was happy to see me focused. She saw the difference in me, the time I put into my work was not normal for me. I was trying to balance running 3 accounts at the same time, being an assistant art director, I am supposed to only focus on one account at a time. Michelle had a small staff meeting today, with the "Idea" team, since we were ahead of schedule. She asked us to take our time with our accounts and be more thorough, although I don't know what the problem was as we haven't gotten any complaints for any of the accounts I was working on. My guess would be that her boss was worried that we were rushing. After the meeting she asked me to meet her in her office. I knew what this would be about, but I agreed to meet her there after my major meeting with one of the clients. When I got to her office she was on the phone, whispering something I couldn't understand. All I knew was that someone was going to be leaving on a plane the next day. "Marissa, please have a seat" she said motioning to the chairs in front of her desk. I sat down waiting for her to finish her call. She hung up the phone and stared at me. I started to feel nervous so I looked down. "Marissa, I have a big client in London that wants us to meet him there. I have noticed the work you have done in the last three days and I am very impressed. After last week I thought I was going to lose you but you have proved me wrong. I always loved your work and always knew you could do great things. I can't go to London as I have to handle things here. I want to you to go and represent the company" Michelle explained. I sat there wide eyed and jaw dropped. I could not believe the opportunity she has given me. To go to London, as I thought more about it, reality sunk in. Rob was there, the chances of him and I running into each other was very slim but being in the same city he would be in worried me. I wasn't sure if I could handle that thought of being so close to him. "Marissa?!" she hollered trying to get my attention. I shook my head and looked at her "Really Michelle? You want me to go?" I asked her. "Yes, but you have to leave first thing in the morning" she responded. "Michelle I thank you for this really, but can I give you an answer by the end of the day?" I asked her. She gave me a confused look and asked "Why? This is the chance of a life time, Marissa. You do this well and that could mean a promotion. Why would you not want to go?" I looked down thinking of a good answer, there was no way I was going to tell her that the man that I am hurting over was going to be there and that his name happens to be Robert Pattinson. "I just have some things I need to see if I can get sorted out, how long is the trip going to be?" I asked. "Three days, but since you would be leaving on a Friday you will have the weekend to explore the city" she said.  "I don't think I want to stay very long. Can I just have some time to decide?"  She looked at me for a long moment deciding something. "Okay it’s now 10am you have till 2pm to let me know or else I will have Diane go instead, okay?" I could tell she was not happy but I needed time to research news on Rob and see if he was still in London.

            I went back to my office where Diane was waiting for me. "Hey congrats, I heard Michelle gave you the London job" She exclaimed. I sat down in front of my computer and moved the mouse to dissolve the screen saver. "I don't know if I am going to take it" I told her. She gave me the same confused look that Michelle gave. "What do you mean?" she asked, dumbfounded. "I need to get things sorted out here, I have until two o’clock to make up my mind” She started to smile and I said "Diane I know your hoping I decide not to go so that you can" She watched me as I started to type on the computer and said "Well yes, Michelle told you then." I nodded and began researching the latest news for Rob. After a few minutes, she got up and stormed out. Sometimes Diane and I fight for certain jobs, but outside of work her and I became close when Omar and I first broke up. She was really there for me and we have been friends ever since, but this job sometimes gets in the way. Thinking of our friendship made me think of Omar too. Should I call him and tell him I am leaving town or just not call and try and let things settle on their own? My life was a mess and I still didn't know what I was going to do about it. After a few blogs and websites I finally found what I was looking for. Rob was sighted two hours ago, arriving in New York City but there were no pictures. Now that I knew he wasn't in London it brought on sadness that surprised me. I thought I didn't want him there, but secretly I guess I wanted him to be. At two pm I walked into Michelle Dean’s office and accepted her offer. She explained all the details about the clients and exactly what I needed to know. My ticket is waiting at the airport for me and my flight leaves at eight in the morning. She let me go home at four to pack and get ready. I got home and sat on the bed crying. I really had no idea that secretly I was holding on to something. I decided to call Jane to come over and help me pack. She came with dinner, Chinese food. We ate and discussed the opportunities this trip would bring me. After we cleaned up, we headed over to the bedroom and cleaned out my closet to decide what I should pack. I was half packed when Jane finally asked what I was waiting for her to ask. "Is Rob going to be in London? Jane asked me. I stopped and sat in my leather worn desk chair and shook my head. "Oh, I thought that was the reason you took the job" she said. She plopped on the bed and started to put things on hangers that I wasn't taking. "No, Michelle said I would get a promotion if I do well with this" I explained. "That’s great Marissa, then maybe you could get a bigger place" she said while looking around the room. I giggled and said "I don't want to live in a big place alone; this little place is my home. Plus if I choose to keep this place I could save money to put towards buying a house someday" "I guess, for me, this place is just way too small" she said. "Don't hate my home or I will throw your ass out" I said and we both laughed.

      We finished packing, talking about her boyfriend and how things are going in their relationship. I was very happy my friend found someone to love and to love her. I smiled at the funny and cute things she explained they do together but once or twice I found myself thinking of who I wanted to share things like that with. Rob was never coming back and I had to keep telling myself that.
 Once we were done, she left. It was still early but I decided that I would try and sleep, tomorrow was going to be long day. I lay there trying to think of nothing but the trip. I was nearly asleep when my phone chimed from a text message. It use to be Rob's song Broken but since he told me he wasn’t coming back, I changed it. I opened the text message and saw it was from Omar. "Great" I said aloud to myself. I read the message "Hey, are you home?" I hit the respond button and said "yes, why?" and hit the send button. I waited for about two minutes when I got his response "Can I come over?" again I responded with "Why?" Another minute went by and his response was "I need to talk to you, please?" I took a few seconds deciding then sent "No, I have to leave for London tomorrow very early, no joke work calls." I waited for five minutes for a response but I got nothing. I put the phone down and waited for sleep to take me again. I laid there wondering what Omar wanted to talk about and I heard a knock on the door then the door bell rang. I figured it was Omar so I got up angry and walked quickly to the door. I looked through the peep hole and saw no one. Then the door bell rang again and I knew he was off to the side. I opened the door and began to scream "What…?" and then I stopped mid sentence. Leaning against the wall on his side was not Omar. He wore a brown leather jacket, a blue collared shirt, tight black jeans and black boots. His hair was disheveled and in his hand was a long stem red rose. I stared at him in surprise as he looked at me with soft liquid eyes. "Rob?" I said. He smiled and handed me the rose. I watched his hand get close to mine as I accepted the rose. He licked his lips and smiled "This is for you" he said. He stood straight up took a small step towards me and leaned in. I stared at him not being able to move an inch as he pressed his lips against mine. I held still until he pulled away "Say something" he said. "What are you doing here?" I asked him. He frowned and said "I thought I would surprise you, I ended up being able to make it after all" he answered me. I shook my head trying to understand why he was there. "Why are you here Rob?" I asked him again. He took a step back and leaned against the wall again. "I guess I know what you mean by that" he said. My heart began to flutter from the sound of his voice. "I am so sorry Marissa I know I hurt you, but please let me explain" he said. I shook my head once more making sure this wasn't another dream. I opened the door wider and motioned him to come in. He entered and looked around the front room. I closed the door, standing in front of it. "Would you like a drink or something?" I asked him. He nodded and we both walked into the kitchen. He took a seat on the same chair he did before. I grabbed a beer and handed it to him and sat down across from him. "You’re not having one?" he asked. I shook my head no trying to figure out if this was reality or a dream. He took a swig of his beer before asking "How are you?" I looked at him with a hard look but he was just too beautiful to keep a straight face so I dropped my eyes to my hands resting on the table. "I am fine and you?" I answered. "Good" he said while nodding. He stared at me with excited eyes as I kept mine looking down so not to expose the hurt and anger I was feeling.


         We sat quiet for a long moment and I was waiting for him to explain to me what he did. “What are you doing Rob?” I asked him. “I am looking at you” he answered me. “You know what I mean. I…Why did you come when you said you weren’t?” I continued. “I missed you, I wanted to see you” he said. “Rob, why are you doing this?” I asked. He looked confused and said “Doing what?” His face started to get red as he stared at me. “Why are you doing this to me? If you’re going to play games by coming and leaving like last time…Rob please, I can’t handle that. The games…” I explained. He leaned back in to his chair took another gulp of his beer and sighed. “Marissa, I am not playing games with you, I know what I did was wrong but believe me I didn’t mean to hurt you” he said. He reached for my hands and I slid them off the table and placed them on my lap. “Why did you say you couldn’t come?” I asked him. “I had some things to take care of “I shook my head and said “Some things? How am I to trust anything you say Rob when you keep secrets?” I responded to him. He looked at me, not responding. “Were you seeing someone else? If you were then you know what? I can’t be the other girl, I won’t be the other girl, and I’m not saying you had any commitment to me” I looked up at him and he was staring at me with eyes that could melt an ice berg. I made him angry and I didn’t care. I went on saying “It wasn’t right for you to promise me something then say you can’t make it, and then show up on my door step. To me that is playing games and it seems you’re hiding something.” He took a deep breath and said “I know Marissa, and yes I was seeing someone else. I was seeing her before you, but I never expected to…for us…the first night. I only wanted company not to take advantage of you… Please never think that. It just happened, and I…never truly meant to hurt you. I left thinking I was going back to my girlfriend but something happened and I got confused. But then I decided that it would be best to let you go, I didn’t want to string you along. I promise you that.” He never moved his eyes away from my face, taking in the hurt and betrayal that he just dealt me. I kept my eyes on his not feeling what was on my face. “But then I found myself missing you, and I needed to see you. So I knew what I had to do and I ended things with my girlfriend a few days ago. I swear it’s over, I know it’s weird but I felt something…” he got on his knees beside me pleading “with you I have never felt with her. So instead of going to New York with her I came here.” I looked at him crying, he wiped a falling tear from my cheek with one finger waiting for me to say something. I cleared my throat and said “Rob…I can’t do this right now I…please, I need some time to think.” He stood up slowly and said “I understand. Here’s my number you can reach me at now.” He placed a piece of paper on the table and started to walk towards the front room. I watched him as he made his way to the door and thought of the things I was feeling. I didn’t want to him to leave, but I was angry and sad for what he just revealed to me. He was almost to my front door when he turned around and walked towards me angrily. He stopped in front of me and pulled me up to him and crushed his lips against mine wrapping his arms around me, I kissed back, still crying and wrapped my arms around his neck. His lips were urgent, his tongue warm and soft probing my mouth. My hands grabbed a full fist of his hair and pulled him back. He looked at me with desire and lust in his eyes and I pushed him away. He stepped back hurt and confused. “Rob, please I need time” I said. He nodded once and again walked towards the front door. I leaned against the counter crying. 

           I heard the door open and I felt an impulse. “Rob!" I screamed and ran out of the kitchen and into the front room. He was holding the door open as I ran towards him. I jumped on top of him crushing my lips on his as he held me tight against his body. He kicked the door shut, and I pushed him against it. I pulled off his jacket letting it fall to the floor. His lips kissed my neck as his hands never let go of my ass. I unbutton his shirt and pulled it off him dropping it to the floor.
He lifted my white tank top over my head and kissed my shoulders. He was warm and soft under my hands. I kissed his neck and my hands found themselves back in his hair. He picked me up and I wrapped my legs around him as he carried me into the bed room, laying me on the bed. He pulled my black pajama pants along with my panties off with one hand. He kissed my stomach all the way up to my chest, kissing both of my breasts, from my cleavage to my neck, to my lips. My body felt like it was on fire from his touch and kisses. I bit my lips to keep from moaning too loud as he licked me from ear to ear as his hands roamed my body. My heart was beating fast and hard; as my breath picked up I slowly ran my fingers down his chest to his belly and found his belt. I slowly unbuttoned his pants and he then pulled them off for me. I looked at him in his eyes as he looked in mine. He kissed me hard as I started to feel his erection growing against my pussy lips. He grabbed my thighs that were wrapped around him, as he slid inside me. Feeling him there was reassurance that this was real. He kissed my lips holding them as he began slow long thrusts. He cupped my left tit as my hands found his chest. Rubbing my hands up and down his body was making my body start to quiver; His kissing my neck from ear to ear made my body shake. He pinned my hands to my side and started to thrust faster. Both of us out of breath we stared into each other’s eyes feeling the connection we shared for one another. I wanted to scream his name, but I bit my lip holding it in as he began to hold his breath, for the same reason. I rolled him to his back and saddled him. He placed his hands on my waist watching my face as I closed my eyes and started to fuck him. I bounced on his rock hard cock while my hands used his chest for balance. I leaned over and kissed him. Robs hands explored my back, my neck, my face. He held me tight as if he could never let me go and when he started to pull me closer, by the waist, that’s when I knew he was ready to explode. I sat straight up and fucked him harder. As we both reached out climax I let out small moans. Rob closed his eyes scrunching his face, cumming inside of me as I came all over his cock. I slowed down my rocking back and forth letting my shaking body calm down from my orgasm as I collapsed on his chest leaving him inside of me. He wrapped his arms around me, holding me tight. I tried to catch my breath as I realized what just happened. I looked at him as his eyes burned into mine. He smiled slightly and rolled me over on my back kissing me gently, his warm soft tongue in my mouth felt comforting. “I thought you were going to really let me leave” He said. “I was…but then I changed my mind” We fell asleep holding each other.  

          When my alarm went off I knew it was four am. I rolled over and hit the snooze button. I lay back down on my pillow for another fifteen minutes till the alarm went off again, but just then I felt arms wrap around my body. I turned around quickly and saw Rob’s startled face “OH! I forgot you were here” I said. He laughed and said “So you forgot I was here, did you think it was a dream?” I smiled and admitted “yes, I did think that.” “So…you do dream about me?” he said with a smirk. I rolled my eyes getting out of bed. “Where are you going?” he asked. Well I have to get ready, I have to leave for a few days” I answered. He looked at me with wide eyes and said “Vacation?” I shook my head and said “Business.” “When are you coming back?” He asked. “Three days.” I said. “Wow three days, so I come back and you leave. Great” he said as he lay back on the bed. I sat next to him and said “Rob I didn’t know you were coming back, and I’m not sure what last night meant, but I do have a job and responsibilities weather your playing games or not.” He sat straight up looking at me with furious eyes “What does that mean?” I got up and rummaged through my closet for something to wear. “It means that it wasn’t like I was going to wait around for you, plus I thought you ended things with me. This trip is huge for me, I do this and I can get a promotion” I explained. I felt hands wrap around my waist and Rob whisper “I’m sorry I was being selfish. It’s just I wanted to spend time with you and I cleared the next two weeks so that I can focus on you and me.” I leaned against him, smiling wide. I was still hurt and angry but he knew how to charm me into being the soft sappy fan that I know I am. “I want to spend time with you too, and we do need to talk all this out, because I am still very hurt and angry” I said and turned around hugging him. He hugged me back and said “I know, baby. I thought we would have this time I have here to make it up to you.” I leaned my head on his chest squeezing him tighter. “I am coming back in three days; it’s not going to be that bad. I am sure you have some work here in LA to do” I said. “No, I don’t I was supposed to be in New York on vacation remember? But I came here to be with you instead”  That made me smile knowing that he changed his plans just to be with me, even after everything he admitted to me last night. “Where exactly are you going?” he asked, still hugging me. “Don’t laugh ok?” I said. He giggled and said “I can’t do that. If you make me laugh then I would break my promise and right now I’m trying not to do that again.” I let go of him and turned around pretending to look for clothes to wear. “Hey, tell me. I promise not to laugh” he said grabbing me from behind again. I smiled and whispered “London.” He didn’t laugh but chuckled. I turned around to see him smiling. “Why didn’t you tell me that?” he asked. “It didn’t come up until now” I responded. He sighed and said “Do you mind if I stay here and wait for you?” He asked. I felt this wave of disappointment. I thought he would suggest coming with me. I didn’t ask because I figured if he wanted to go he would ask. “Of course, I will be back in three days” I said and turned around to look for something to wear. “Good” he kissed the top of my head and left the room.

             I made us a quick breakfast and the he helped me carry my bags out to the waiting airport shuttle. Of course he had to take a picture with the driver and sign an autograph, but it was quick. I asked the driver to wait a few minutes as Rob and I went back up to the apartment to say good bye in private. “I can’t believe your leaving” he said. I got close to him placing my hands on his chest and resting my head on his shoulders. “I know, I can’t believe it either, but at least you know I will be back…it’s my apartment” I said while giggling. He placed a finger under my chin and kissed me softly. “Hurry back so we can pick up where we left off last night” I watched his eyes as they lit up with the thoughts of me coming back. I kissed him one more time and said “Miss you” and turned around and walked away. I started to cry as I walked out the door. I arrived at the International terminal at LAX and checked my bags. After I got thru security I sat down to wait for my flight to board. I looked over my itinerary and saw I have a stop in Denver to change planes then a two hour layover in New York City before continuing on to London. “That’s great” I whispered to myself. I sighed and waited for the plane to board, thinking of what Rob was doing in my apartment. Did he go back to sleep? Was going through my things? Or did he leave? It was making me nervous that I agreed to let him stay in my apartment while I was away. “Now Boarding Flight 118 to Denver” I heard the loud speaker announce. I got up with my small carryon bag, IPod and the few magazines, candy, water and a book by Michael Connelly I bought at the newsstand near my gate.  I even had a few mini posters of Rob to help me get through the long flight ahead. I really hate flying as it makes me nervous.

       I waited in line to board and since I was flying first class I got seated quickly. I sat back closing my eyes thinking of Rob sitting next to me holding my hand and helping me get through take off. I decided while the plane was still boarding that I would call Rob to see what he is doing. I pulled out my cell phone and dialed my home number. It rang four times before the machine picked up. “Hi, you reached Marissa. I’m not home right now but please leave a message and I will get back to you shortly, thanks” then a beep. “Rob? It’s me, pick up…are you there?” I said, but he didn’t answer. I remembered that I picked up the piece of paper he left on my kitchen with his number on it. I looked through my wallet and found it. I dialed the number; it rang twice before he answered. “Hello?” I smiled and said “Hi, it’s me.” He chuckled and then he was silent. “Rob?” I called into the phone but trying not to be too loud. I heard someone walk up to where I was sitting, and saw them hand their bag to the flight attendant out of the corner of my eye.  I turned towards the window and said once more “ROB?!” Just then I heard “What?” from the next seat. I spun around and to my surprise there he was. My mouth dropped and he laughed hard and said “Surprise.” “What are you doing here?” I asked him. I bought a ticket and decided I would join you. I was waiting for you to ask me to go with you, but you never did so I thought I would surprise you” he responded. “I didn’t ask because you seemed so intent on staying here and since you never said you wanted to come I figured you didn’t want too so I didn’t ask”  He blushed, his cheeks and lips turning red. He looked down at my hands and twined our fingers. “I wanted to, but wasn’t sure if you wanted me to go, but while you were in the shower I decided I can’t just let you go without me” he said. I laughed and said “When did you buy your ticket?” “While you were in the shower, I snuck a look at your itinerary and then called my agent and made sure she got me on the same flight as you.  Luckily, no one had reserved this seat, and I asked the flight attendant if she could arrange for me to have the seat next to yours all the way thru to Heathrow” he explained. “But…your clothes?” I asked. He smiled and said “I had to call a cab after you left and get my bags from the hotel; luckily I booked a hotel a few blocks from your apartment.” I smiled and leaned in to kiss him, he licked his lips before pressing them against mine. His tongue was warm and soft twirling around mine and it made my heart beat faster, before I knew it, I was out of breath. I put my left hand in his hair when I heard the flight attendant cleared her throat. We looked up at her and she recognized Rob “Oh, I am so sorry but wanted to make sure everything was ok here” she said, looking straight at him. He had on his blue beanie, a worn out blue t-shirt and a black hoodie. He smiled at her and said “We are fine, thanks.” She blushed and stepped over the then next row behind us. We leaned in to kiss again when the captain came on the loud speaker “Hello, welcome to flight 118 with service to Denver International Airport. We will begin taxing for takeoff momentarily so please fasten your seatbelts. Our flying time today will be approximately 2 hours, 35 minutes” We were being asked for our drink orders as the flight attendants started the safety video. Rob and I kissed once more. “I am scared of flying” I told him. “I will distract you” he said. I smiled and said “How are you going to do that?” Just then the plane started to accelerate down the runway and began to take off. I tensed up and squeezed his hand. He chuckled and looked into my eyes, I heard the co-pilot come on and say “Please keep your seatbelt fastened until the captain turns off the fasten seatbelt lights” I held my breath as the plane left the tarmac climbing into the air. Rob moved very close to my face as I turned to look at him “You want me to distract you now?” he said. I nodded as he got closer. I felt his breath on my lips as mine began to pick up. Everything around me got quiet and blank. I waited to feel his lips on mine, but instead I felt his moist warm tongue licking his lips. I placed my hand in his hair as he placed his hand on my cheek. Finally I heard the “DING” of the fasten seatbelt sign being turned off as Rob continued to kiss me softly and sweetly. I never even realized we were already in the air. It was the best kiss yet.

  To Be Continued…

The Change Of Plans

“Marissa?” I heard someone say. I turned to my right and looked around the small park. I saw a couple holding hands and talking walking down a path that was a very steep small hill. It’s not a very big park. I wouldn’t really call it park as there is no playground. There was just a walking path and two benches. The path led to an old wooden stair case that leads down to the beach below the cliffs. I was leaning against the railing when I heard my name being called. “Marissa!” the voice called again and I looked to my left where the stair case is. I didn’t see anyone but another couple, sitting on one of the benches, kissing.  I quickly looked away. It’s early in the morning, before 6 AM and I was surprised to even see anyone here. I looked back towards the ocean when I heard the voice again, only right behind me this time. “Marissa?” this person said. I turned around and saw my ex-boyfriend standing there. I composed my shocked face and said “Hello, Omar.” He smiled as I continued to look him over. He is not as tall as Rob only 5’8” with tanned skin bald head and brown eyes. He looked at me up and down as I did him. He was wearing what he typically wore, a black T-shirt and tan Dickeys with black Nike’s shoes. He is skinny but quite muscular in the chest area. “Hi, how are you?” he asked me. I turned around I didn’t want to look at him as I lied. “I’m fine, Omar.” He walked over to my right side and stood next to me looking out to the ocean as well “You don’t look fine” he said. I kept my eyes on the ocean as he once again looked me over. “I said I am fine… How are you?” I said in a stern voice, hoping he would get the point. He looked back at the ocean as he replied “I am ok, thanks for asking.” I didn’t say anything; I was hoping that he would just walk away and leave me alone. “Why are you here?” he asked.  I can hear a hopeful tone in voice.  He was smiling slightly and had a gleam in his eye. I sighed knowing what he was thinking. I had to think of something to say that won’t hurt his feelings and not give too much away about what’s going on. “Why?” he asked again. I looked back towards the ocean and said “To think.” He looked confused and asked “Think about what?” I didn’t even glance at him as I said “About some things.” He looked back towards the ocean, and obviously understood now that I didn’t want to talk about it, he changed the subject. “What have you been up to?” I knew why it was so awkward but I can feel his curiosity. We never have been this way since we broke up a year ago. Since he cheated on me and I made him move out we have been off and on again. I wouldn’t say relationship wise but we definitely would hook up just to have sex. Eventually I would want something more, but he never did. He was my very first love and I knew I would always have a soft spot for him, but not today. “Nothing much, Omar” I replied. He didn’t say anything after that; we just stared at the ocean. After about a minute I looked at him and said “Why are you here?” He looked at me for a moment then back at the ocean as he answered sheepishly “I come here every now and then.” “Why” I asked. “Because… Well it’s our spot where we first kissed, and sometimes when I think I made a mistake with you I come here and think about you. I never thought I would see you here.” He explained. I stared at him as his words sank in. He came here to reminisce about me, yet he didn’t want me. I didn’t understand but I had to leave. “I gotta go” I said as I walked past him. He grabbed my hand to spin me around. I tugged my arm back as he asked “Would you like to have dinner tonight or drinks?” I was fighting the tears after he asked that. “I can’t Omar not tonight, I am sorry but I gotta go… I am late for something.” I said then turned and ran up the steep hill.


I ran to my car as the tears started to roll down my face. I looked back over my shoulder to make sure he wasn’t following me. I didn’t see anyone around. I used the sleeve of my grey hoodie sweater to wipe my nose and unlocked the door. I climbed in the car and let myself lose it for a second. I put my face in my hands and cried, leaning into the steering wheel. After I was able to gain control of myself I looked out the windshield and saw Omar watching me with wide eyes. “Fuck” I whispered. He walked around to my window as I put the key in the ignition and rolled the window down. He bent over putting his hand on the door and asked “Did I make you cry?” I laughed hard as he looked at me like I have gone crazy. “No, Omar, you didn’t make me cry, why would anything you say make me cry? That was very sweet, and I am flattered. But… this is not about you. I just really need to be alone right now.” I said. He placed a hand in my hair and I removed it and said “Omar, please… don’t.” He slowly placed his hand back on the door and looked at me with disappointed eyes. I looked away toward the windshield. “Marissa, have you been seeing someone else? Have you given up on me?” he asked. I started to cry and said softly “Omar I really have to go.” I started the engine and put it to drive, he started to say something as I pulled away. I watched in the rear view mirror as he began to get farther and farther away.


I drove the thirty or so blocks to my apartment, and again Jane was outside my door knocking. I walked up the steps as I put my hood of my sweater over my head to hide my face. “Hey, sorry I went for a drive” I said when I reached the top of the stairs. “Where did you go?” she asked. “To the park, the one that overlooks the beach, ya know on the cliffs?” I responded. “Why?” she asked. “To think, but then I ran into Omar so I left” I unlocked the door and we both walked in. The place was clean; I couldn’t sleep after the dream about Rob, it was just too real. “Wow it’s clean in here, I was going to clean it for you today” she said. “I couldn’t sleep after you left but thank you” I said. We walked across the front room to my small yellow kitchen. I sat down in the same seat I did when Rob was here. I stared at the seat across from me then looked back towards Jane. She placed a bag of groceries on the counter and began putting them away. “Sorry I left I had to go home and get a few things. I thought you would sleep in” Jane said. “Its ok, I wanted to be alone anyways.” I got up and walked towards the front room when Jane asked “So you say you saw Omar at the park this early?” I nodded and proceeded to the front room and went towards the hall. I entered the bathroom and closed the door. It’s not a very big bathroom. Once the door is closed, it’s just two steps to the small white sink, then one more to the toilet and bath tub. The walls were white and the floor had black mats. The shower had sliding frosted glass doors with one rod where my blue towel hung. I looked myself over in the mirror and saw my face was puffy and red from all the crying. “Get the fuck over it Marissa! You only spent three days with him, fuck!” I said to myself. I washed my face and decided that a shower would be better


Once I was out of the shower I went into my bedroom making sure I avoided looking at the bed and walked over to my small closet. I opened the door, which looked like it could open to another room. I picked out a pair of blue jeans and a red sweater. As I dressed quickly I can smell bacon being fried. Jane was cooking and I was getting hungry. I went back into the bathroom and brushed the knots out of my hair. I decided not to put make-up on just in case I started crying again. I walked back into the kitchen just as Jane was putting scrambled eggs on two plates. “Just in time” she said. She handed me a plate and I sat down in the same seat as earlier. Jane grabbed her plate and sat in the chair across from me. “You look better” she said, smiling. I smiled back at her and even though it wasn’t real I said “I feel a little better now after the shower.” I got up to get a drink as she asked me “So what happened when you saw Omar?” I poured both of us a glass of orange juice and answered “He asked me out to dinner for tonight.” She opened her eyes wide “Really?” she responded. I giggled a little and handed her drink as I sat back down. I had to admit being with Jane always made me feel so much better. “Yes, I turned him down, and then ran away. He found me crying in the car, thought he made me cry. I laughed so hard when he said that. Then he asked if I was dating someone else and if I gave up on him” I elaborated. I took a huge fork full of eggs when Jane asked dramatically “What did you say?” “I didn’t answer I told him I gotta go and took off in the car.” Jane asked a few more questions, wanting more details as we sat and ate. I started to feel normal again; Jane always made things like that.


 After breakfast we sat in the front room watching TV and talking about our favorite TV shows until she asked “So tell me, why you are so upset by all this?” I looked down at the floor feeling the flood of depression take over again. I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. “I don’t know, it was special to me I can’t explain it. He made me feel like I was the only girl in the world” I told her. “But you have only known him, what, three days?” she asked as she tried to make sense of it. “We just had this connection, Jane. When he was here it was so “right”, I gave myself to him. I gave myself a way I never have before, even with Omar” I looked at for her reaction to that. She opened her eyes wide and said “Like love or something?” I shrugged because I didn’t know how to answer that. I sat there looking at the carpet thinking about that question. How can someone love someone in three days? Maybe I am just an over obsessive fan that got lucky. “What happened that last night?” she continued. “He came over, we talked and we…had sex, I guess” I answered. She stared at me with confused eyes. “You guess?” she asked. “Well yea we had sex but it was more than that, Jane. I never let anyone in that way. I can’t explain it.” I explained. “And he hasn’t called or anything since that?” she pressed on. I shook my head as a “no.” “So why don’t you call him or text?”  I couldn’t answer that. I thought about it but how would that look? Obsessive, although I am, and desperate was what I concluded. I had decided not to call or text him. “Marissa, are you listening to me?” Jane asked. “Well, I don’t want to seem desperate” I answered. “Well you are” she remarked. I shot her an angry look and continued to look at the carpet.  “Well I’m not going to call him, he promised to call me and he never did.” I explained. I got up and walked into the kitchen. I opened the refrigerator and remembered that I had no beer; I slammed the door closed and walked back to the front room. I starred at her, and realizes I was getting angry with her, she was making me feel like I was acting like an idiot. I didn’t want to sit but I didn’t want to stand either. Tears started to swell in my eyes; I wiped them away with my hand. “Are you crying?” she asked as if she was shocked by that fact. “I stomped to my bedroom looked at the bed and turned right back around, thinking to myself that I had nowhere to go.


Just then, my phone rang and I stopped in my tracks. My heart started to flutter hearing the sound of Rob’s voice singing “Broken” which was my ringtone for text messages. I ran to my phone with high hopes, stumbling to my purse that was on the floor next to the couch. I reached in and found it instantly. I looked at the screen of my Instinct Samsung phone. It read: “Message from Omar” and my heart sank. I opened the message and read it “I miss you, please have dinner with me.” I threw the phone on the floor and ran back into the bedroom not caring anymore that the bed brought so much pain. I was feeling tired of waiting and being sad over this. I buried my face in a pillow and cried as loud as I could. I felt a hand on my back and I looked up at Jane and said "Why does this hurt so much? I can't stand it; I am starting to get very angry." "Because you opened yourself to him, thinking it was something special." she responded. "Can you leave me alone for a bit?" I asked her. She nodded and said "I will be in the front room watching TV." She turned and walked out the door.


 When I woke up a few hours later, the sun was still out but setting. I looked at the clock on the wall above the desk it read 6:03pm. I got up walked to the front room and smelled chicken. Jane was cooking dinner; I was surprised she was still here. My phone was on the coffee table, I guess where Jane had placed it after I threw it. I walked into my kitchen and saw Jane at the stove. She turned around and screamed. "You scared me; I didn’t hear you walk in." She exclaimed. I heard a chuckle and spinned around. I looked over at the table and sitting there was someone I didn't expect to be there. It was Omar. I stared at him in surprise and then composed my face. "What are you doing here?"  I asked. “You didn’t answer my calls or my text messages. I came over to see if you are ok, you seemed so upset at the park.” he explained. I looked at my phone and turned the screen on. There were twelve missed notices. Five were missed calls from Omar, one from my brother and another from Diane. Three were missed text messages from Omar, one from Diane and one from a number I didn’t know. It was not from this area or in this country. I thought it was a friend I use to talk to in Austria so I didn’t look at it. I turned the screen off and looked at Jane. “You let him in?” I asked her. She was facing the stove stirring a wooden spoon in a small pot. “Yes, what was I supposed to do? He wouldn’t leave.” Jane answered. “Why wouldn’t you leave?” I turned and asked him. “Because I was worried, I wanted to talk to you.” He said. I started to get frustrated with him. He never cared this much before, but then again I never broke down that hard in front of him before. “Why would you care?” I asked, sarcastically. His face got a little red, getting angry that I was questioning his feelings. I had every right to and he should already know this. “As I said, you were very upset when you left the park. I want to know why? Are you upset by what I said?” he said. “Jane turned around and watched us both argue about him being there. I looked at her and said “We will discuss this later Omar, but for now please leave.” He didn’t move an inch. He crossed his arms in front of his chest and leaned back in the chair. He was not going to budge. Jane continued to listen and cook dinner. “Fine stay here I’m going back to my room then” I said as I turned and stomped out of the kitchen. I was walking down the hall to the bathroom when I heard the chair move. He was coming after me. “Now when I want nothing to do with him he follows me, ugh!” I whispered to myself. I walked into the bathroom locking the door and sitting on the floor holding my knees. I thought if I waited long enough he would leave me alone. 


After about twenty minutes I opened the door and walked out. I saw no one waiting for me so I walked into the bedroom and Omar was sitting on the bed. "Get out!" I told him. "No" he responded. "You have no business being in here, GET THE FUCK OUT!" I exclaimed. "Not till you tell me what's wrong, why are you depressed? If it’s me I am sorry Marissa please, take me back I miss you." he responded. I began to get even angrier. I turned around walked through the hall way across the front room and out the front door. I didn't bring a jacket or my keys so I went back in and grabbed my keys from the king hanger next to the door and walked back out.  I half ran to my car and as I put the key in the door unlocked it I felt hands turn me around and then lips crushing mine. I pulled back and stared Omar in the face. He leaned in for another and I slapped him across the cheek. I had tears coming down my face as I opened my door and got inside. Omar stared at me as I started the car and drove off. I drove a couple blocks, not really paying any attention to where I was going. I finally pulled over and stopped, put the car in park and began to sob. I cried for missing Rob so much. For opening up my heart to him and being crushed. I cried because the one time Omar seem to want me I didn't want him. I cried because I felt lost. After what seemed hours of crying I remembered Jane was still in my apartment. I started the car and headed home.


I walked in and Jane was on the couch alone. "Hey" I said to her. "Hey, where did you go?" she said. "Well I had to get away, Omar was... I don’t know." I responded as I sat next to her. "He kissed me as I was trying to leave." I explained to her. She opened her eyes wide being shocked by that. “He kissed you?” Jane asked. “Yeah, I just don’t need him doing this right now.” She shook her head in agreement.  I looked towards the kitchen and said “I messed up your dinner, didn’t I?” “It’s ok, I ate already and your plate is in the microwave” she answered. I got up and walked in the kitchen to eat.  After I ate, Jane decided to leave so I walked her to the door and said good bye. “I have to work tomorrow but if you need me call me ok?” she said. I nodded and gave her a hug. “Your my best friend Jane thanks so much for everything. I really don’t know what I would do without you.” She walked out the door and I went to the bedroom. I tried not to think about Rob as I lay there with the lights off. My phone began to buzz, I put it on vibrate so that it wouldn’t ring and wake me. I didn’t want Omar to bother me. I had to figure out what I was going to do about him. I was so confused at what I really wanted and what I should do to move on. Rob was probably never coming back. But there was that little part of me that hoped that he would. Maybe he was just busy with family. I really didn’t want to think about him using me. I never thought for one minute while I was with him that he was. He was so affectionate and sweet. He even bought me a candle holder that had both our names engraved on it. Just then I remembered I never looked at it; it still was in the box. I sat up and turned the lamp on next to my bed. I got up went to the closet and brought the box down from the top shelf. I sat back down and stared at the box in front of me. I had put in up in the closet as I could not bear to open it.  I didn’t need another thing to remind me of him in my apartment and that box contained a symbol of the days we spent together. I touched the top contemplating whether I should open it or put it back in the closet. I thought about it for a moment, and decided to get it over with. I tore the small tape that secured the top from opening and lifted the lid. I took out the white tissue paper and looked inside. I took it out of the box, holding my breath, and looked at it, searching for the engraving. I turned it around and found the letters. It said “Robert & Marissa” in huge letters in an Old English font.


One tear ran from my left eye down my cheek when my phone buzzed again. I put the bowl back in the box and placed it on the desk then turned to pick up my phone. I looked at the screen; it said I had missed 2 text messages. The first was from Omar. I opened it and it read “Marissa, I am sorry for the kiss. Call me soon I still love you.” I closed it and looked at next one. It was the same number I didn’t recognize from earlier today. I opened it and read the one from this afternoon. “Hey, I need to talk to you.” I still was unsure who it was and looked at the next one. “Are you up? Can I call you?” I clicked the respond button and responded with “Yes and yes”.  I sat on the bed, bouncing up and down in anticipation, trying to figure out who this could be. The phone vibrated in my hand and I checked the number. It was the number I was expecting. “Hello?” I answered. “Marissa?” the voice on the other end said to me. I recognized who it was instantly. I let out a sigh and smiled. “Hi Rob” I said. “Hi, how are you?” he said. In so many ways I felt calmer and in others I felt nervous. “I am fine now, how are you?” I responded. “I am good. I miss you” he said. “I miss you too” I told Rob. “Why didn’t you answer my text earlier?” he asked. I didn’t know how to answer that but I lied as best as I could “I was out with a friend, just got home a little while ago.” He accepted that excuse and asked “What are you wearing?” I giggled and asked “Are you drunk, Rob?” He was quiet for a moment then said “Yes I had a little bit to drink, so answer my question.” I laughed and looked at myself. I was wearing sweat pants that had a hole on one of the knees and a white t-shirt. “I am wearing panties and a white tank top” I lied. “Sexy, if I was there would you be naked?” he continued. “Rob, don’t make my blush over the phone” He chuckled and said “okay okay.” I glanced at the clock above my desk it said it was 8:30pm. I was shocked to be in bed this early, but then there wasn’t much I wanted to do. “Rob, isn’t it like 4:30 in the morning there?”  “Yes, why?” he responded “Because your drunk at four in the morning” I said. “Well I don’t need to be up early or anything” he commented. I stood quiet then Rob started to say something “I caaa…” is what I caught. “You what?” I asked. “I called you to tell you something” he said. “What’s that?” I asked. “I know I said I was going to come back…but… I…” he said. I waited for a moment then pressed on “You what?” I said. My heart started to beat faster as I already knew what he was going to say. “I’m not coming” he finished. My heart stopped for a beat then restarted. I started to panic, my eyes filled with tears and I held my breath to keep him from hearing.  “Why not?” I asked in a shaking voice. “Because I can’t, I am sorry Marissa” he answered. I stared at the box that was on the desk, wishing he was here so I can throw it at him. “But…you promised me Rob, you said you were going to come back” I said. I could feel the sobs building in my throat as he said “I will visit soon ok? I just wanted to tell you and hear your voice”  “When?” I asked. “I have to go, please forgive me” he said. “Rob?” I called out in the phone. “I will call you” he went on. “Rob why? Please tell me why can’t you come?” I sounded pathetic going on like this. “I just can’t I am…I have some things to do here” he continued. “Rob?” I said. “Bye Marissa…I’m so sorry” he said. “Rob, please talk to me” I said. I waited for an answer but the phone was silent. I looked at the screen and it said “Call Ended.”


I let the tears run down my face but I held the pathetic sobs of heaving and moaning inside. I wasn’t going to let him do this to me again. I looked at the box that held my candle holder, picked it up and placed my hand over the lid. I got up ran to the kitchen stuffed it in the trash and ran back to my bedroom. I plopped on the bed shoving my head into a pillow and tried to cry. Nothing came out. I turned on my back thinking about it. He didn’t want to come back. Even though he said he would visit soon and that he was sorry, it wasn’t true. He really did use me. I got angry than sad about it. I picked up my phone scrolled through my contacts till I found the name I was looking for. I stared at it, making sure I knew what I was doing. Pushed “Call” on the screen and the phone began to ring. I waited for a few rings then I heard “Hello.” I didn’t say anything; I waited, thinking about why I am doing this. “Hello?” the voice said again. I hung up and threw the phone across the bed. I placed my hands over my face and tried to calm myself from screaming. I heard the phone buzz from vibrating and ignored it. I knew who it was and I needed more time. I got up, pacing back and forth in my small bedroom, from the door to my desk and back again. I thought about Rob and what he said “I just can’t I am…” He is what? Is he seeing someone? Did he meet someone? Or are the rumors of him and Kristen Stewart true? I didn’t know. What I did know is that he lied. He knew he couldn’t come back, and I should have expected it. I glanced at the phone it was buzzing again. Rob was not coming back to me that was clear. That means I can meet, see, and do what I want with anyone. I walked over and picked up the phone. I redialed the number and it started to ring. “Hello?” the voice sounded annoyed. “Omar?” I asked…

The Beautiful Nightmare


It’s been three days since Rob left to return to London , and I have not heard from him since. He promised to call but he hasn’t, I am beginning to think I dreamed the whole thing. The morning after he left I was attached to my phone, waiting for anything from him. Anytime it rang I fumbled it in my hands only to realize it was not him. Work dragged on for what seemed hours. When I first got into the office Diane was in my chair waiting for me. She looked very un-happy but she was pleasant at the least. "Good morning, Marissa" she said as she got up from my chair and walked over to the chairs meant for guest. I didn’t even smile at her and just sat down. "How are you feeling today?" she asked me. I kept my eyes down as I started the computer and asked her to get me coffee. She nodded and went to get it. I looked at my phone again and I had not missed anything. I felt like crying but Diane would be coming back soon so I held it in. When She came back she sat down again handed me my cup of coffee and said "Okay Marissa, spill. You look like shit and you were rude yesterday." I looked at her finally and saw her concerned face. She has bleached blond hair, tied up in a bun. Her green blouse matched her eye shadow. Her high cheek bones were enhanced by red blush and lips were glossed by her favorite cherry flavored lips gloss. "There is nothing to tell Diane, I spent the last two nights with a guy, now he is gone and that’s it. Let’s get to work." I said to her. She stared back at me and said "Then why have you been crying? Why won’t you tell me who you been seeing? It’s not Omar again is it?" I shook my head and leaned back against my leather desk chair. I sighed and said to Diane "No it wasn’t Omar, why would you think that?" She glared at me and didn’t say anything. "Look I am sorry for how I talked to you but I really don’t feel like talking about it. Let’s just get ready for the meeting, is Michelle here yet?" I said to Diane. "Boss lady is here" she responded as she got up. "Well the clients will be here at 11am I will get the conference room set up with water and stuff" she said as she stalked out. She was angry the entire day, and it was my fault, for being the way I was.

After I got home, I sat on the computer for hours looking for some kind of news of what he was doing. There were only a few pictures of him shopping with his sisters and hanging out with a couple of guy friends. I again went to bed that night crying like I lost someone important in my life. My heart feels like someone took it and hit it with a baseball bat then stabbed it with a thousand knives. I know it’s stupid to feel this way but there isn’t anything I can do other than move on. I had a fantasy come to life it should be enough…shouldn’t it be? 

The next day was no better. My boss sent home for not looking professional. I didn’t even, I knew I was a mess, so I took the opportunity and went home. When I got there I noticed someone sitting on the top of the steps and as I got closer I noticed who it was.  My best friend Jane, who I have been avoiding since the day Rob left me. "I called your work and they said you went home, where you have been?”  I started up the stairs and responded "I have been avoiding everyone, I’m sorry but you didn’t have to come." I really was hoping to just be alone and cry but now that was put on hold. "Well what was I going to do? You weren’t answering my calls or text messages, I was worried" she said. We walked to my door and I let her in. My apartment was a mess, since Rob left I haven’t had the strength to clean or do anything. There were magazines on the table scattered and plates and cups on top of them.
  There were blankets, socks and pillows on the floor. I haven’t slept in my bed in two days. I felt that it was too much a reminder of him. The couch was covered in chip bags, beer bottles, soda cans, and tons of tissue and napkins. "I have been busy" I said to Jane. She stopped in the middle of the small living room and looked at the mess that was before her. "What is going on with you Marissa? Why is this place a mess?" she asked. I went straight to the kitchen to grab a beer but when I opened the refrigerator there wasn’t any left. I would have to go the market and get some more. I slammed the refrigerator door hard and said "Nothing Jane. I haven’t had the time to clean I have been busy ok?" I walked back into the front room and found her folding the blankets. I looked at her and started to get annoyed. "Something is very wrong, you look like you came back from hell" she said. I walked up to her and snatched the blanket from her hands and I started yelling at het "I CAN CLEAN MY OWN DAMN SHIT, WHY ARE YOU HERE? TO LECTURE ME ON HOW I LIVE?" She stared at me as I stomped to the hallway. "IF YOU’RE HERE TO JUST GIVE ME SHIT JANE, PLEASE FUCKING LEAVE BECAUSE I DON’T NEED TO HEAR IT!" I continued yelling as I walked down the hall to my bed room. I stopped in front of the door and put my hand on the handle. She walked towards me watching as I stood there not moving. She was silent for a long moment. Sensing something was wrong. I dropped the blankets on the floor and ran towards the bathroom "I can’t go in there" I said. I slammed the bathroom door behind me and sat on the floor holding my knees crying. Jane knocked on the door "Marissa? Are you ok?" she asked me. I didn’t say anything.  Visions of Rob's face ran through my head of the night he was here. How he kissed me so sweetly and gently. Like I could break if he touched me wrong.  His hand running up and down my body. His hair between my fingers. I can still feel his breath on my neck. How he held me tight to his body and the feeling of being safe there. I snapped out of it when Jane knocked again.

I got up on my feet and looked in the mirror. My eyes were red and puffy. Since I didn’t wear makeup today I looked plain, my skin tone uneven. My Hair was pulled into a pony tail, sticking out in all directions. Jane was right I looked like I have been to hell and back. I turned the faucet on and washed my face. I threw some water on my hair and retied it in a ponytail. Once I figured it was no use I pulled myself together to walk out, I opened the door and Jane was standing in front of the door. I stared at her for a moment then grabbed her shoulders and hugged her. She didn't say anything, she just hugged me back. This is the number one reason she is my very best friend. I never had to say anything or explain one single detail if I needed her. She held my shoulders under her arms as she led me to the bedroom. Once she had the door open I closed my eyes. It was too hard for me to look at the bed. I cried harder and told her I needed to get out of the room. She soothed me with a single "shhhh" and pulled the covers down. "You need to sleep Marissa; it looks like you have not slept in days”. I took a deep breath and opened my eyes. I starred at the bed before me and fell on top of it shoving my face into the pillow he laid on last. It no longer smelled like him, which brought on another wave of sobs. She covered me with the blanket and walked around the bed and lay next to me rubbing my back.  I mumbled in my pillow "He hasn't called me or anything and it hurts." "What did you say?" she asked me. I turned on my back took in a few breaths and repeated "He hasn't called or anything and it hurts." "Where did he go?" she asked me. I looked away from her eyes toward the ceiling and tried to hold the tears but that was no use, they spilled from the side of my eyes into my ears. I used the blanket and wiped my face. " England , so he says. To visit family. He said he was going to come back in two weeks and spend more time with me. He promised he was going to call when he landed, I didn't even get a text!" I explained. She watched me as I held my breath to keep the sobs from coming back. "Marissa, you only spent three nights with the guy, your acting like you’re in love, and been together for a long time." She said to me. I looked at her then pulled the covers over my head and began to cry again. She didn't press it any further. She just laid there for comfort as I cried myself to sleep. 

When I opened my eyes it was dark. I looked around and noticed I was in my room. I was going to start crying again as I started to sit up when I heard a male voice say "Where are you going?" I screamed and jumped out of the bed. I turned the light on and to my surprise it was Rob. I looked down and I was completely nude. I stared at him for a long moment as he was startled by me reaction. "Rob?" I said. He looked me confused then said "Yes?" I slowly sat back on the bed covering myself with the covers. I looked at him as I tried to understand what is happening. I put my hand to his cheek and he held it there with his right hand. "What’s wrong? Are you okay?" He asked as he looked at me like I was crazy. I giggled and pushed him back down on his back. I curled up on his chest as he ran his hands through my hair. "I'm ok, I had a bad dream" I responded. "You want to tell me about it?" he asked. I shook my head no and said "No, it might scare you away."
He laughed silently as I felt his chest shaking under me. I dug my head in his chest hiding under my hands. I was so relieved he never left me. He was truly here lying next to me. "I don't scare easy babe." he said. "It's not that kind of scary dream. It's about you." I said. He took that in and said "Tell me, I want to know." I put my thoughts in order and sighed loudly. "You left me, and didn't hear from you in any way and I got really depressed. I mean scary depressed" I said. "Well I have to leave in a few hours still, are you going to be that depressed if and when I do really leave?" he asked me. I shrugged. I looked up to see his eyes they were a beautiful, deep blue. I stared into them and said "I know you have to leave, Rob. But...I never imagined spending time like this with you. These last few days have been the most wonderful days of my entire life. I can't even begin to tell you how much it all means to me. This is not only the fantasy I have dreamed of. It's like something more, something that is worth so much more. I can't explain it, and even I don't understand what I feel." He starred at me with a straight face and my heart began to race. He placed both hands at the sides of my face. He slowly came close and gently kissed my lips. Then suddenly he crushed his lips into mine. Kissing me hard, and fast. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he laid me on my back. I wrapped my legs around his waist as his tongue probed my mouth. My hands going from his shoulders to his neck then in his hair. He then took my hands and held them against the bed. He kissed my lips then my neck from ear to ear. His body rubbing against mine, I felt a surge of energy coursing thru my body. I can feel his cock getting bigger and I was already getting wet. He kissed to the middle of my neck and up my chin to my lips. I held my eyes tight thanking God for giving me Rob back.  I still wasn't sure what was real. I couldn't think of it now, I moaned a little as he bit my lips hard. He let go of my hands and placed them on my thighs as he slid his cock in my hole. I didn't hold back I let out the loudest moan I ever had. He also started to moan. I began to shiver in ecstasy. I tangled my hands in his hair and never stopped looking in his eyes. I never felt this close to anyone before. It was like a beautiful dream. I gave my heart to this man in that very moment as he continues to slide in and out of me. He kissed me softly from my lips to my neck and down my shoulders. He grabbed my left arm as he kissed his way down to my hand. He twined his fingers in mine and held it. He started to go a little faster as the climax was coming. I squeezed tight on his cock and he moaned in my ear. He watched my eyes as he said "I'm ready, are you?" I nodded and smiled as we both fought hard to keep our eyes open. As the climax was reaching the high point I moaned loudly and sat straight up.

I looked around me and realized it was dark again in the room. I calmed my breathing as I got up from the bed and turned on the lamp that was on the desk next to my bed. I looked at the bed and there was a white folded piece of paper. I looked at myself and I wore the same clothes I did for work in my dreams. Black slacks with a White blouse. I sat back, confused at what was going on. I grabbed the note and began to read it.



I am sorry I had to leave you like this. I will be back in the morning I promise. I called your boss and told her that you won't be coming in the next few days. I will explain later. Just try to sleep more, if you can't call me.





Tears streaming from my face and breathing unevenly as I started to realize something. I stared at the letter not reading it as I whispered to my self “It was a dream…”

"Miss You Already"
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"I Want To See You Again"
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The Gift Of Cookies
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